An Unexpected Gift

Recently I received a letter from my sister. Emily’s an artist and has been doodling and drawing since our elementary days. She mentioned how it wasn’t her talents in art that kept her creating early on but her deep rooted stubbornness to be DIFFERENT. She experimented with colors (coloring pink hair and purple polka dotted dogs) because it was fun to fight the norm. Now she’s one of the best artists I know. (You can check her out on IG @embemilie.)

Her stubbornness led to an unexpected but beautiful talent that she is still developing today.

At the end of her letter, Emily asked me if there was anything like that for me. Any area that I’ve had to work at that God has used in ways I didn’t expect?

Spanish. 100%.

In high school, I did not like Spanish class and had no dreams or aspirations to learn more. But the summer after graduating, I was able to travel out of country for the first time. My eyes were opened to the bigness and diversity of the world. That trip planted a deep seeded desire: I would become bilingual no matter what it took.

But the first years of community college, I hated and constantly dreaded Spanish class. I never had time to study (was always working), and many of my classmates were native or heritage speakers, which led to me feeling stupid, incompetent and discouraged. Language was not a puzzle to solve or a beautiful road to communication but a miry bog I just sunk deeper and deeper in.

I grew to dislike Spanish so much, I wanted to give up studying altogether. Still, the initial desire had an iron grip. I couldn’t totally abandon that dream. So, when I transferred to Cal Poly, I declared a Spanish major and a Crop Production minor. My first quarter at Poly, I lost all hope and decided to drop Spanish. I met up with a counselor to change my major (over Zoom — it was still Covid times). But the paperwork to change was almost impossible over distance learning, so I had to hold off for one more quarter. In the winter of 2020, I had a prof who changed my whole outlook on Spanish and made me believe I actually COULD learn. I kept taking classes with this professor, stuck with the language and look where we are: possessor of a BA in Spanish and about to move to a Spanish speaking country.

I know I still have much more to learn, but the whole experience has taught me not only a new language, but also about the process of learning a language: the emotions that are tied to communication and how to teach in a way that builds up the student.

So in response to my sister’s inquiry “is there any area that I’ve had to work at that God has used in ways I didn’t expect?” I wouldn’t have expected my failures to help anyone, but I think I am just peaking over the edge to see how God will use them, especially as I step into a language teaching position.